can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
