..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
