the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
