weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't turn off my feet"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
