im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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