i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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