the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
