He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
