You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The air taste purple.
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