I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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