it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
