And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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