I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
People in love make me want to vomit
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
