He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
