i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
