dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
