i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
