Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
