we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They took my balls.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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