I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
