I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
