adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
