My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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