All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
