Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
