I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
