What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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