who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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