So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
