her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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