Don't you send me to vm
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
