when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
