I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
