If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
