It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The best revenge is premature balding
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
