Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
