considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
