i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Fuck appropriateness.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
