I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
