I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize