We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
