Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
