he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
