Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
