Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
