All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
