I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
