So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize