Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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