is your mom at the bar?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
