dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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