Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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