I feel great
I just peed on a car
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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