Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
