Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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