I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
ok first of all what the fuck
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
