On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
