Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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