you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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