It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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