Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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