Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
