This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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